An Interview with Another Part of Me

Nothing is impossible for him. Working on hard times with difficulty, a challenge makes him feel happy rather than become disappointed by the problem. Experiencing the new moments of not trodden path becomes his way of life. He is no more than an ordinary fellow who aspires to be one of the simplest persons in the world.

He does not know whether he will succeed or not. But he certainly realizes that it is not an easy job to reach there as he starts walking on hard rocks. Reaching to a targeted point is very different from heading towards the field which is both opportunity and challenge at a time. He believes and knows from his conscience man is different from other beings not just because of the appearance but because of the nature that rows dream, plan, hard work and perfection towards what he does meditatively. They who do not understand him or such traits of human being may mistake him as egotism but it is not hard for him.

He dreamed a lot, tried hard and reached nowhere…He every time turns to be complicated as he pounds to be simpler. He called me, I came, I saw him and found frolicking psychologically to scale success. I questioned myself and HE within me answered. Some of the extracts are as following:

Me: How did you come to this world?

HE: Once upon a time I was in the universe touching everything happily. As my father fell in love with my mom one night, I was confined to a subject and she had me. It was not my desire to come here but my parents' desire to understand each other. They also did not plan to have me. It was just an accident.

Me: Are you sure about it or pessimistic about life?

HE: Yes. I am absolutely sure that life is not as one imagines to be and it goes as it flows in its current but dream can lead one to a new path. Imagination and dream are quite different phenomena. One can imagine anything but shaped vision is dream.

Me: Are you dreaming or imagining now?

HE: I am doing both as one cannot be separated from each other. The difference is only that which is dominant.

Me: What kind of philosophy is this?

HE: Which one? That you failed to understand or others misunderstand.

Me: About love and marriage?

He: sex and complimentary part of life or churning out of nothing…

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Too Much Injustice Upon ME

May 17, '08


An Appeal To Krishna Sharma


DEAR RESPECTED SIR,

I AM very SORRY I HAVE NEVER WRITTEN ABOUT YOUR FAMILY. i have nothing to do with your family business and where you live or stay. I just wanted to be like a friend and share your problems...if i could, i would try my best to help you and satisfy you with my behavior and sacrifice. Please never try to make me believe that you are away from Kathmandu. I humbly request you to tell me your problem (IF THERE IS) rather than telling me you are away and trying to prove that you have done good enough for everybody. i am sorry to say that i have never taken you as a friend but as a powerful classmate only, if it were it would have been already ended...it is not necessary for you to regret but i regret that i thought you were worthy of friendship...you are great and powerful..I take you as a very great and a person of an outstanding height and good status. i respect you, honor you and believe you are a good human being. however it is not necessary to threaten me for charging case...if i have harmed you and made mistakes against you i welcome you to report against harassment...it was only the matter that i wanted to correct my mistakes and to be a part of your life, as a friend and a helper if you need...i could sacrifice anything for you. What is my mistake against you that you are so angry with me? I always want to correct my mistakes and bow down on your feet as an apology for my mistakes...i really want to salute you as a superior being and powerful man. IF I AM WRONG I AM EXTREMELY SORRY FOR THIS...Behind the state of your being angry with me and staying away from me might have a serious meaning and you might have a problem which is yet to be solved...i am nobody and nothing to speak about your problem and helping you. You might not need my help. But I was only interested in humanity and wanted to make efforts for the sake of well wishers like you. Thinking that nothing will be impossible to solve if it is dealt with friendly and humanely. I am always in favor of your happiness, success and progress...I really wanted to improve worsened relationship between you and me with humanity and mutual understanding. i ASSURE YOU THAT There is nothing that you cannot get from me....you can get whatever you like if i have something worth for you...i am extremely sorry for my bitter words...I NEVER WANT TO ANNOY YOU AND MAKE YOU UNHAPPY...I REALLY WANTED A HELP FROM YOU AND TRYING TO WRITE YOU...IF YOU NEVER WANT TO HELP ME, IT'S OK , WHAT CAN I DO FOR THIS COMPLICATED SITUATION?

Rude and ugly
mad and insane

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A Pretty Prelude to A Friend-Turned-Foe

Apr 11, '07




A pretty song is to know when you are in serious problem,
Choose one of your simple friend who can help you for good,
And start troubling him excessively and become his acute problem,
Then, wait for acceptance from him under immense pressured mood.

Because mental or physical torture may not be crime for them,
Who think power of physics is the entire existence of friendship.
Creating a give-and-take situation would not mean business,
No wonder if they craft a design of you help us and get rid of problem.

Friendship will no more stand a business term to deal with give-and-take,
Only giving from both sides exists as a true and humanitarian relationship.
Give alm of either life or any help to their friend for love as beggar or sage,
It is not love to think of taking back in return to given alms or love.

Therefore, my friends are my love, life, inspiration and support,
But they are not like me as I believe in love of humanity and friendship.
My friends turned to be like foes in a war for colonization of friendship,
However, I am not their enemy but they are not like me as comfort.

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A Tale of a Trouble Caused by Friend VS Foe

Apr 07, '07




...FROM PREVIOUS PART...

Dear Joy,

Pleasing to read your mail regarding the details of life perspective.

Really, I am more than hurt. I believed him as my friend but he enjoyed destroying me in the guise of friend. I am very confused between friend as a foe or foe as a friend.

I am still surprised how a friend can destroy his friend but I saw him doing so--he claimed he was my friend and sabotaged and jeopardized my life in the veil of friendship...He wanted, i thought, me to marry his sister whom i had never seen in my life but never tried to make us meet. How can I believe that he was true to this matter and he was my good friend.

To be powerful means does not necessary to be good. He is very powerful person and he planned a grand design to make me alone in this world and hitting me, hurting me blocking me from behind the curtain===he hurt me more than i suffered.==Now i feel and experience i am alone=i am extremely hurt--it has been very difficult to live more==Do you still think he was my friend who destroyed my life for not marrying his invisible sister? I am surprised by what he is doing, if i am not wrong. What will he get by troubling me too much and tending to destroy me?

My life is full of pains and sufferings and no way to live in this world. If he will be happier and achieve success and success more when i am ruined, i pray God to trouble me much more because friend's happiness will be my pleasure

best regards with love
... ;;; ...


...ANOTHER PART...

Dear Intimate,

My happiness knew no boundaries when i got such a friend like u. The God is there from where He loves me too much. I am quite inspired by your allusion of mother's pain and love to her sons. Now, i can feel i can endure whatever pain for my mother's happiness. But I disagree with you to take revenge with my foe as a friend or friend as a foe because I am never against justice and humanity. If i have never harmed anything of anybody else, it is beyond my imagination to harm my friend and all.

However, i cannot be positive with that very being under the veil of friendship who sabotaged my life. He only believes in power and felt challenged when i believed him he would not harm me any way. i thought he would not harm me anything but he took it as my challenge boasting upon the power. You can't imagine how powerful, mischievous, cunning, shrewd, sly and tricky he is. He might be under the full of pains and it is his problem not mine but he does not have any rights to destroy my life. Do you think it is a justice to punish others for his own problem and weakness? His problem is his problem. If he wants to solve it or wants or expects some cooperation from his friends or me, he must tell me directly and propose for help. I could do any kind of help to him, if he has been simple and easy. How can i see his internal pain or problem without telling me anything? Is it my mistake not to know his problem, what do u think my friend? And now he has been continually attacking me blaming me for not helping him as friend. Can he mend broken mirror similar to the relationship? If he dares to mend the relationship, he must take initiation with correcting his past mistakes and wrong doings under the play of super power. If I hurt and destroy you, can you still take me as earlier as before, suppose, we were friends? i feel i am very simple and straightforward person with compassion.

Contrary to me, he is super-powerful and not a man of understanding humanity but only of power. He enjoys destroying others. If i can, i will never harm him because i am not like him. Ending friendship with him is enough for him as a punishment. I am not demon or devil to follow him and take revenge with such robotic hearts. One day, he will certainly realize that if he has not harmed his friend under the play of power, his friend (me) would certainly help him and hug him with love and humanity. It is not my job to make him understand me how simple kind of person i am.

However, he is almost under the line of human being and near to a mean and clever King. Do you want to know about his deceptive tricks? He hatched a plan of staying in the USA by staying in Kathmandu, changing his residential location and continuing his office by the night? And he wants to convince me that he has not done anything against me because he reportedly claims that he is not in the country or town. Can you understand now what kind of person he is? Is he true to humanity or friendship?

When I want to begin my life in new ways, he creates obstacles and obstruction everywhere. I remember his one saying to me---"...will stop your every progress and bring tsunami in your life because you (me) did not do what I (he) wanted...". Now, evaluate yourself, what kind of person he is. If he needs my help, he could propose or ask me directly and friendly and i could help him or sacrifice everything for him as part of value of friendship. I could help him anything if he had asked me directly.

Now, can you understand me what kind of person i am? How can i understand others' problems without being revealed it? I am not God to know everything about of others...

I hope u will understand me well

Love from
...;;;...


...NEXT PART...

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It is Something about Me?!

Once upon a time, I was eternal in the universe. I was so good, wise, clever, peaceful, lovely and gentle. When my father fell in love with a woman-would-be-my-mother, I was bound to be born on this earth. Then I am destined to suffer the miseries, pains and pleasure of life in this material world. Now, I am called a foolish, stupid, unpractical, philosophical, rude, sly and so on as If I was sent on this planet, I am to be punished for nothing.

Every then, and here and now, I am very much grounded on reality and investigation rather than believing in rhetorics, verbal layer and play of language and words. My life is full of struggles from the beginning. My father passed away when I was studying Intermediate level. I was the senior or responsible person to handle my family with my mother and two brothers at that time. I started teaching as an English grammar teacher in a public school after I had just taken the final year examination of B.A in !993. i worked there for more than a year. Then I joined a private school where I served one year. Because of my passion to work more, I along with other three partners thrived to open a private English School where I was vice-principal for two years. At that time, conflict and violence was increasingly threatening the whole society and country. Due to the same reason which forced me to turn my way, I appeared in an examination taken by the Palpa District Education Office for the secondary level English teacher. I passed the exam and interview but rejected to receive the appointment letter. I sold my share of the school and joined another Higher Secondary School as a teacher and administrator. I worked there as teacher, administrator and chief-editor of the monthly school magazine for three years.

In 1999, I joined M.A. in the Central Department of English, Tribhuvan University, Kathmandu and completed M.A. in English Literature in 2001. In 2002, I joined the state owned national English daily The Rising Nepal as a correspondent for the Kathmandu Valley. Hundreds of news articles on different topics have been published in the daily. I left the The Rising Nepal in 2006 during the Royal regime at the eve of the People's Movement 2006 for supporting the democratic movement. Another reason to leave the job: two powerful friends tried to sabotage and jeopardize my plans and life accusing me of not marrying sister of one of my friends. Now, I am very much serious, sensitive and philosophical about each event and attitude towards life struggling for quest for identity and justice for humanity. I am still single and not interested much more in the marriage affair because of my freedom fond behavior.

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