"To be or not to be"--It is a question?

 Bishnu Prasad Aryal
Kathmandu, December 7

? Is it a crime to be a poet?
                                            


                                    Or to be a creative person?
                                                                                           



                                                                         Or to be a philosopher?



I am punished for being logical, reasoning, rational and pholosophical but without harming and hurting others. Is it justice?



So, it is a question of 'to be or not to be'. Death is better and greater than the slavery.

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Did those who killed Jesus realisze their mistake?

Bishnu Prasad Aryal
Kathmandu, Nov 29

Why did the contemporary people kill Jesus? It has just simple logic that they could not understand Jesus? It was not His mistake.

Was Jesus wrong? And they killed him brutally by torturing him excessively. His diosciple Judas, who was cunning, enjoyed killing his Guru.

For ordinary people too, this is very contemplative in present time and scenario. The vicious people trouble, torture, harm and destroy the innocent persons for nothing. I have also experienced such moments of destructive persons full of ego and stupidity with vested interests.

If Jesus was killed, what could we do in such sufferings and miseries caused by vicious persons?

Not only, Jesus, but also Krishna was killed with poisoned arrow, Buddha was fed poisonous pork, Socrates was fed poison and more. Just meditate upon the powerful people who killed innocent and genious persons in this world. Powerful people without wisdom and humanity are demons and devils.

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I feel I am a running river of time

Bishnu Prasad Aryal
Kathmandu, Nov 28

Birth begins flowing from chastite snow melting in high himalayas,
My childhood was so pure, innocent and cool.

It started running down the earth through variations,
Sliding with stones, muds and litters in course of time,
It became pollutted, contaminated with deadly diseases too,
Grew more and more like a swelling snake utterly collosal.

Suffering and pains were nurished more than pleasure,
Unconscious in the mezzy and zig-zag motion of the river,
I woke up and found split into various banks of the river,
It was still going downwards under the blue and black sky,
In which the universe was revolving in cycle of chains,
Impossible to turn back to its root of birth unlike time.

As it reached to the ocean, I was completely a mixture of the world,
It looked beautiful like himalayas,
Not hard as rocks but harder than the soft water.
I started evaporating to regain purity, chastity and innocence as earlier,
To repeat the begining and its flowing journey again towards ocean.

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I can't change my inborn nature

Bishnu Prasad Aryal

A tiger, which is very beautiful and powerful animal, lives on other animals. It kills them and has their flesh for its livelihood. It does not farm the animals but hunts them in its residential area when it is hungry. If it is not full of appetite, it never kills and harms others.

An interesting thing to say is that it never eats grass how hungry it is. It will die of hunger but never eats plants and grass. It is its inborn nature.

Similarly, someone is born with special character. One is born to be a scientist, a politician, doctor, poet, writer, painter, farmer, philosopher and so on. However, I have witnessed a different instance in my life.

A powerful but a bad person, who has been following me since long, is always hatching conspiracy against me, torturing and harming me for his own family problem. Can't I get to live freely without harming and hurting anybody else in this world? I am unable to telerate his mean behaviours. A poet or philosopher can't be transformed into a scientist by beating and hitting whether physically or psychologically.

Let a person be as one was born for what. It is crime to forcefully attempt to change a poet or philosopher into a scientist. Every one is born with different nature. We should not make anyone like you...as every body is different and unique. Learn to understand for what one is born to be. I was born with flavour of philosophy. I am different from others. And I will die but cannot turn into an illogical and unreasonable person.

One has the rights to celebrate one's life in own way without harming and hurting others. If the wings of a bird are cut, it can't fly anymore. Someone plucked all the feathers of my wings and tells me to fly in my own way. Is it possible to fly playfully?

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Where and when do my wounds ache?

It is simple the world is full of varieties and mutiplicity. The plants, trees, nonliving things, animals, human beings, air, soil, stone and etc etc.

The science believes in matter and body that is a combination of chemicals. The people who have faith in spirituality believe and see soul in even nonliving things. They think everything is changing and they are also dying in course of time.

The material people simply analysis that birth, death and life are products of matter and chemicals, and they do not exist beyond death. Hoever, spiritual people believe in eternity and it never ends, remains existing in the universe in any form and goes on and goes on.

I cannot say who is wrong or right but I feel ached when others beat me. I cannot tolerate as they torture and trouble me. I feel sad while they hurt me. I feel destroyed when they damage my toys with who I enjoy playing and spending life like a child. I feel shattered when they destruct and devastate my works and plans of life for their own problems.

I feel so and so because I am also a human being. Other living beings might feel similiar to me whether they speak or not. I can speak in my language...it may be that plants, insects, and animals also express their griefs and pains but we are not able to understand their language and feelings.

So I cannot say when and where my wounds ache...never ask me again about it after you axe, hammer, beat, cut, bite, hurt and destroy me...because let me live in my own way in pains and tears, which please me and nurture my rights and freedom to live without harming and hurting others.

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I'm upset due to psychological torture

I feel nausea, my head seems to be heavy, have a headache. Simply, I can't put blame on others but there will be injustice if I don't reveal the fact that someone is still troubling and harming me from behind the curtain.

This is still a mystery for why this guy is following me throughout my whole life. Either, I must be sick, I must be in hallucination or in confusion or in illusion or speaking truth. I sometimes feel that whether I am mad to suspect the same person for destroying me.

No,I have realised many times that I am interfered or intervened into my personal issues, my liberty and freedom to live in my own way without harming and hurting others. I feel I am deprived of my individual rights to choose a way of life, work in my way and die in my carefree style.

I am suffering from other's problem. A person, who thinks himself superior, great and gentleman, has offended me for his own family problem. If I speak something about him and his action, he will torture me psychologically more than I am hurt. Neither I can remain silence nor can surrender to such a vicious person. So I am too upset now.

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I like to get rid of life

I know and feel life is very valuable, which provides an opportunity to expreience the world where different people and phenomena keep on dancing in tune with nature. Their activities make me amaze. I want to know more and taste the different flavours available in the existence.

However, I sometimes fall depressed when I am too much troubled and suffer others problems and become measurable. I think it is better to die than got suffered for nothing wrong I have done.

Many people, I came to see, in this world do not deserve soul of a human being. They enjoy torturing others but never like themselves to be tortured. I hate those people who trouble others because of their own family or personal problem.

That is why I like to get rid of this life as soon as possible.

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I don't want to live more

Jan 15, '08


I am happy to close this chapter of life


Many people, I think, fear death. However, I am excited to meet death, to touch its hands in experience and to embrace it with love and peace, leading to eternal peace.

It is an interesting thing to unveil that I visited an astrologer last week to know about my future. I don't know his predictions are true or not but I am happy with him who predicted that my soul will leave my body and my body will say goodbye to this physical world in 2008. This event will occur in between March and June this year.

I am watching every moment passing by...they are amazing, marvelous and wonderful because only I can see this going on. You may think it is absurd, foolish, stupid, and insane belief. I am sorry I am unable to make you understand in words what I feel now. This is my experience...i am watching...everything is passing on...each will die one day...it is only the matter of sooner or later...I am celebrating this time with rejoice and ecstasy, bliss and happiness...I don't want to live more suffering, suffocating with pains and sores caused by demons, devil souls, lord of evils and unconscious minds which are egoist, sadist and inhumane masters...

If this happens in reality my enemies will be happier but i will be much more happier than all of them who are troubling, torturing and tending to destroy me. Thanks God, I will be the luckier if i can touch almighty death. I am desperately waiting for the moment. But I can't say what will happen later and after death. I feel life is an eternal journey...it was my only one episode on this earth..i am on the way...i will continue my journey till i am salivated with nirvana or get enlightened that i am still unknown about it...i had nothing, i have nothing and i will have nothing...only the experience of journey which is being deleted by time...

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I am tired of living!

Dec 27, '07


Side Effect!?


There was a conflict between two men.The conflict was the matter of existence, self esteem and human rights, and freedom. One of them was torturing, troubling, harming and destroying everything what he could and knew by following with extreme meanness. He used to deploy others, even unknown to the next one, to torture the next one on any way on the way.

The Unknown on the way told the victimized: There is only one way to escape the torture or tackle the troubles.

Victimized: What is that?
Unknown: If you want to be safe from troubles, tortures and harms (suicide), get married immediately. If you want to get rid of marriage, commit suicide.

The victimized decided to kill himself being frustrated and went to a pharmacy to buy suicidal medicine.
Seller: Can I help you, please?
Victimized: I want to commit suicide. Can you help me, please?
Seller: What can I do?
Victimized: Give me such medicine [poison] that has no side effects but kills me without any side effects. Because I want to be healthy after committing suicide.

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I Have Fallen in Love with Silence

Jun 05, '07


I Have Fallen in Love with Silence


Dear Friends,
I am extremely sorry for that I am tired of writing scraps and giving hits to my lovely friends. Therefore, I have decided to remain silence for a period but i cannot say that when this silence will be broken. Please, be patient if you all really love me as a friend. I have fallen into a grave concern of pains in my life...Forgive me for not writing any response to my dear friends...My message is silence:Silence is the symbol of sacred and sublime love...

love from
...prasad...

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A Letter to a Disguised Friend

May 12, '07


A Letter to a Disguised Friend


Dear Joy,

Hug with love of friendship!

I am very much disappointed and it has been very difficult for me to endure pains caused by the very person from behind the curtain.

I think he has unnecessarily harmed me in my life. I thought and believed he would not harmed me anything because i have never harmed anybody nor deceived anybody else. I expressed, "He would do nothing for me as i have not harmed anything of him." But he felt challenged from my simple and plain statement emanated from my heart of belief. It is an irony he took it otherwise. He never told me his problem seriously nor directly nor friendly but blamed me for deceiving him. I have experienced extreme condition of injustice. I requested him through mail to forgive me as a friend if i had made any mistakes in my life. I was ready to sacrifice everything for him if he had told me directly.

I am terribly victimized by the misunderstanding of him and getting punished for his problems. He is too much angry with me but never tells me what his problem is. I am shocked from it. He is too powerful, big, greater and influential, who does not need any of my helps. I have never expected anything from him, neither his money nor his power to get job for me nor his sister to live with. I wish he could have relationship of his sister with bigger, richer, greater, influential, better, more handsome, social, cultured and civilized person. I believe he will get whatever he desires and wants. i am nobody and nothing for him. However, i expect from him only not to obstruct, hinder or ill-recommend me and my attempts to live in my own ways. It will be enough for me to live.

I am not a person to harm others. If i cannot live in peace, i can commit suicide but i am always against fighting the friends. Whatever he has done wrong with me, i forgive him but never go against him. I want to be only true human being but not the devil.

What would you do if you were my friend-turned-foe?

best regards
...prasad...

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I'm Hurt more than Enough!

Apr 05, '07





It has been very difficult for me today--
i am hurt and serious more than a grave
because i could not love myself
Neither i could love others
It is my fate
Believe it or not
It depends on u

But
unknown persons may be
liars and cheaters
Why to believe them ?

But u can feel it
if u have sense of humanity
love and friendship .

Others say such is life
Take it easy,
I'm full of compassion,
I can't believe them,
Because I'm myself
And my feelings are not yours.

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Life is not just a Puzzle?!

Friday, March 23, 2007


Life is just not A Puzzle!?
They said I was a mad, insane and foolish,
I looked into myself but found it was true,
Because I failed to accept their proposal
Of giving me a government job contaminated
With conspiracy, tension, corruption and inhumanity,
Not because the job was not holier.

They told me I was selfish, rude, savage and cruel,
I examined inside where they could not be denied,
As I had never harmed anybody else in this world,
Neither I deceived anybody in dealing with matters,
Of humanity, mankind, sacrifice, dedication and equality,
But because I could not understand them in nature.

They called me egoistic and arrogant like a terrorist,
I sneaked into my inner petals where there was space,
For I never disrespected them and endeavored to undermine the values,
Which contain the welfare of both enemies and friends together,
They were angry with me as I was simple, honest but not handsome,
Not because I could do adjust to the tune of evil doers.

They called me philosophical and impractical akin to a robot,
I scrutinized under where I found freedom and liberty,
Since it was my life in which I enjoyed pleasures in pains,
I told them my life is my life, not yours to be dictated by Godot,
But because those chosen pains, sorrow, griefs and sufferings,
Were more pleasant and happier than those happiness not chosen.

Because I want to be myself like whatever I am,
Not because I do not love them,
But because I can see them inside me,
And I am reflected on them.

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It's Me Who Is Alone in This World...

I had thought i was among the crowds
when i was conscious i found myself
among the vicious circles projected plots of conspiracy.
It was not, in fact, true because it was me in the mirror
they said mirrored on the mirror what i am .
However, i could not believe them
because they were mirrored on me
unlike i am the virtue of vice.
And i was sabotaged and jeopardized
not because i failed to fulfill their demands
but because i could not recognize myself.

It looks like who i am not.

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